


when stevie meeks fell for charlotte dalton

by yellowbeesknees



Category: Dead Poets Society (1989)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Childhood Friends, DPS, Dead Poets Society - Freeform, F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Feelings Realization, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Gay Panic, Genderbending, Getting Together, I want a girlfriend, Oops, THEY ARE WOMEN, Women Loving Women, angst for all of about three seconds, bisexual women, charlie (charlotte) dalton, dead poets society fanfiction, dps fanfiction, finished this at like 4am, stephanie (stevie) meeks, wlw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:49:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25297918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yellowbeesknees/pseuds/yellowbeesknees
Summary: Stevie Meeks meets Charlie Dalton outside the headmasters office, one of them is in trouble for having a radio, the other for playing the saxophone. From that point on, they were best friends.Their lives are so entwined, they end up going to the same university, and sharing the same dorm, getting closer than ever. But then Charlie makes the mistake of coming out to her mother by saying she has a girlfriend (when she definitely does not), Stevie finds herself being roped into the Christmas Fake Dating Scam, Charlie's final attempt not to look like a single loser in front of her family.
Relationships: Charlie Dalton/Steven Meeks
Kudos: 15





	when stevie meeks fell for charlotte dalton

**Author's Note:**

> i didn't bother trying to make this seem like america and just used british english the whole time because it's like... really late at night / really early in the morning and i can't deal with that rn. so picture it as england or america, i don't really mind tbh.
> 
> also please i am looking for a girlfriend please please please please plea-

Stevie watched her out of the corner of her eye, taking in the ridiculously cool (but in an awfully chaotic fashion) outfit, sunglasses in winter paired with a beret, large case laying across her bare knees which looked vaguely saxophone shaped. Stevie blinked back down to the floor, tearing her eyes away from the fishnet socks and chunky doc marten shoes with open tops, Stevie had forgotten the name of the style, but recognised them as the ones she had wanted to buy the year before but hadn’t been able to scrape together enough money. She cast a glance up at the clock nervously, then over at the headmaster’s door, and then back at the girl, who had started drumming on her instrument case, not anxiously but rather in irritation, boredom. Looking down at her own lap, Stevie stroked the radio regretfully, she was almost certain it would be confiscated within quarter of an hour.

“What’s your name?”

She felt herself physically freeze, a faint blush rising up her cheeks. “Uhh, Stevie, Stevie uhh Meeks.”

There was an amused noise, suppressed only to save Stevie being even more embarrassed, she supposed. “I’m Charlie Dalton,” she said, and when Stevie managed to look in her direction she was smirking, “how did you get sent up here?” The linoleum floors shone in the slowly dying stars of the golden hallway lights, filled with their fair share of wasp corpses and dust.

“Radio,” she mumbled, gesturing to the machine in her lap, “you’re not allowed radios… apparently… well, no, no I knew you weren’t allowed radios… I just didn’t think it was that big of a deal.” She tried not to sound too bitter. “Uhm, why are you here? I don’t think I’ve…”

She grinned. “It’s my first week.” Charlie didn’t even try not to sound bitter. “Saxophone playing is supposedly illegal, even when it’s only your third day. But you know it’s – ”

“Charlotte Dalton!” came the call from behind the brown door.

“Shit, that’s me, I’ll see you around Stevie.”

Radio confiscated, arms bereft of the cold weight of machinery, Stevie wandered across the lawns into the trees to eat her packed lunch, staunchly avoiding the broiling school diner as she always did. Perching on the edge of a mossy stump, thin anorak laid out beneath her to avoid dirtying her plaid trousers she morosely took a large bite of her sandwich, holding her hand self consciously over her mouth even though there wasn’t anyone to see her, chewing slowly, wondering whether Mr L. Pike would let her have the radio back any time soon.

There was a cracking sound. Stevie glanced up in surprise to see Charlie watching her apprehensively at her through the trees. “Sorry, I didn’t know someone had already claimed this spot…” She was still cradling the instrument case.

“Pike didn’t steal from you then?” She shifted slightly, indicating to Charlie that she could sit down next to her.

She grinned, picking her way through the bracken and slipping down next to her, ankles crossed delicately. “No. I see you weren’t as lucky.”

Shooting her a mock glare over the crust of her sandwich, Stevie shrugged. “He’s a cunt,” she mumbled through a mouthful of bread and cheese.

Charlie laughed, crinkling open a pack of salt and vinegar crisps, offering Stevie the open packet. “Yeah, he’s a cunt, he kept calling me Charlotte.”

“Alright Charlotte, keep your hair on.” She filched one of the larger crisps from the top of the bag.

She swayed, nudging Stevie with her shoulder. “Rude!”

-*-*-*-

Relaxing back against the ground, fingers running through the rough feel of the grass which whispered softly against her ears, shuddering at every movement of her hair, Stevie squinted through the glare of sunlight at the blurry shape of Charlie. Her palm itched across the grass as it snaked to her bag, fingers groping for the lip where her glasses were poking out, frowning as she pushed herself up on to her elbows, shoving them onto her nose. Yes, the blurry shape really was attempting to climb the tree. With a sigh, she cocked her head on one side. “Char, what are you doing?”

“You know what I’m doing!”

“You could maybe put the saxophone down first,” she muttered, running a hand through her hair.

Charlie shot her a look. “Where’s the fun in that?”

“The lack of broken musical instruments might be the fun part.” Stevie sat up properly with another long suffering sigh. “Do you want help getting up?”

“No!”

“Where’s the fun in that?” Stevie guessed pre-emptively.

Grinning, Charlie finally decided to ditch the saxophone at the bottom of the tree. “You guessed it.”

Leaving her bag in the long grass, Stevie followed Charlie, getting a run up at the tree to grab onto one of the larger branches. Using it to pull herself up, she smirked down at Charlie. “Are you sure you don’t want any help love?”

“You’re so annoying.” Charlie thrust both her arms into the air like a needy toddler, Stevie grabbed her wrists with a laugh. “You’re actually so annoying.”

“Do you want me to drop you?” Stevie grinned down, letting her hands shift slightly up the other’s wrists, threatening to let go.

Charlie scowled at her boldly. “You wouldn’t fucking dare.” She hoisted herself up onto the same branch as Stevie, perching on the rough surface with a feral smile. “Where next Mrs Squirrel?”

Rolling her eyes, Stevie got unsteadily to her feet, reaching for the next bough. “Here dumbass.” She struggled up, hauling her stomach over it before twisting uncomfortably to sit on it. She glanced up further into the thick green leaves, then down at Charlie who was staring up at her, hands out again in a request for help.

Once they were both situated on the tree branch there was an unspoken vow not to go any higher as Charlie cautiously kicked her legs, one hand still tightly gripping Stevie’s forearm. Unconsciously, Stevie dug her fingers into the bark, feeling the roughness of it through the thin fabric of her long white dress (well, it wasn’t hers, it was Charlie’s, borrowed for the sole purpose of cottagecore aesthetic images at their picnic), her boots feeling particularly heavy hanging in empty space. She hooked one ankle around Charlie’s. “Stop swinging your legs, it’s making me nervous.”

“It’s making me nervous,” she mocked in a high pitched voice, grinning at her, but she stopped flailing them around quite so haphazardly. Under the cover of the thick leaves and in the arms of a faint breeze that tousled the treetops, the afternoon heat seemed a faint memory, only tugging at their feet languidly. 

Stevie turned her head slightly, watching her best friend’s long dark hair flutter in the wind, catching on the nearby leaf-laden twigs, the green dappled light glittering in her dark eyes. Her soft highlight glimmered, Stevie grinned remembering how much Charlie had begged to be allowed to do Stevie’s makeup that morning (she had refused), chasing her around with a brush laden with the shimmering dust.

“What are you looking at?” murmured Charlie, her expression fascinated with amusement.

“You. Duh.”

-*-*-*-

She glared at her, tightening her belt. Charlie was half in, half out of the window, Stevie’s lace curtains blowing passed her into the dark night sky, fluttering white flags against the obstinate blackness. “Seriously?” she said hoarsely, throat still thick with sleep, “now?” She grabbed a jacket from the back of her chair with a low groan.

“Yes now, stop making so much noise, I don’t want your mum to wake up.”

Hitching her boot up on the radiator to tie her shoelaces, Stevie sighed. “Are we seriously doing this?”

“How are we supposed to be real teenagers without sneaking out of the house at least once?”

“Probably quite easily.”

“Just hurry up!” Charlie disappeared from the window, Stevie heard her skittering down the slope of the roof and then dropping down onto the grass outside. Finishing with her laces, Stevie followed suit, shimmying down the roof tiles feet first, landing crouched beside Charlie in the grimy yellow light of the street lamps which made Charlie’s face glow gauntly, deathlike in a shroud of golden light. “See, you’re already enjoying yourself,” she whispered, grinning at Stevie, “we’re going to have the classic teenage coming of age if it kills me.”

“Wouldn’t mind if it did,” she shot back, rolling her eyes with a suppressed grin as she pushed passed Charlie onto the pavement, “come on, let’s go to the park.”

They stopped off at the supermarket so Charlie could sit in a shopping trolley and Stevie could take pictures as she rattled around in the open yellow lit square of the car park. Stevie could help but breath the word “ethereal” to herself under her breath as she watched the wide open joy of her best friend.

The dark grass of the park was wet with dew as dawn began to turn the edge of the sky a deep, inexorable blue. They held hands as they tipped their heads back, breathing in the night air, watching the stars brush slowly across the lightening sky, fading in their brilliant blinding light that marvelled through decades of darkness. Charlie’s hand squeezed her tightly and out of the corner of her eye, Stevie saw her eyes shift to watch her not the sky. “Are we definitely going to apply to Welton then? Both of us? Together?”

Stevie turned her head slightly, still unable to peel her eyes away from the abyss above them. “Of course, I want to stay with you.”

“But Stevie,” she mumbled, and Stevie couldn’t ignore the tremor of anxiety in Charlie’s voice, “you could get somewhere far better, you should be thinking about future stuff, it’s so… selfish of me to expect you to go to Welton with me.”

She wrenched her eyes away from the dying moon. “Is that why you dragged me out here Charlie?” The dew was making her feet cold. “Char, Welton’s not even a bad school, we’ll be fine there. And anyway, I am thinking about my future.” She tilted her head, watching the shine of Charlie’s eyes in the faint light of dawn. “It’s with you.”

“Shut up.” Charlie collapsed into Stevie’s arms, engulfing them both in warmth. “Just shut up.” A beat of silence. “I love you too.”

-*-*-*-

Charlie’s index finger ran softly down her bare forearm, tracing the invisible veins in the half darkness. “I can’t believe we’re leaving soon.”

“I know,” Stevie breathed to the ceiling, half awake, mostly asleep. The mattress shifted next to her and long soft hair fell over her arm as Charlie moved closer, her left arm flopping over Stevie’s stomach, the other tracing tiny circles on the back of her arm. Charlie’s face finally came to rest in the crook of Stevie’s neck and she felt the hot fluttering of breath flowing over her pulse. She lifted her hand and laced it gently with the one laying over her. “Soon.”

An answering shudder of breath tickled her neck and she smiled gently.

In the night she must have turned on her side, her back pressed firmly against Charlie’s chest as the other clung to her tightly. “Hey,” she mumbled, her voice rough with sleep, “Char let me go.”

“No,” came the hoarse whine against the nape of her neck, sending shivers down her spine.

“Char,” she said with a little whine of her own, twisting in Charlie’s grip to face her frowning brown eyes, the only thing clear without her glasses, the background a messy fuzz of blurry light. She inhaled a deep sigh. “Are you going to let me go?”

“Probably not.”

-*-*-*-

“You’re a lesbian?” Stevie took another thoughtful crunch from the bowl of doritos resting between them on the carpeted dorm floor.

Charlie’s chin was pressed against her knees pensively. “Maybe, I don’t know.”

“You could be bi or something.” She took another bite. 

“Why are you being so… ok with this?”

Amusement flinched her face into a half smile in the blue glow of Charlie’s LED lights. “Why wouldn’t I be ok with it? I mean… I’m bi too, it’s not a big deal.”

There was a moment of silence, then Charlie’s eyes shot up to meet hers. “You what?”

She couldn’t help the giggle, and took another dorito out of the bowl, raising her eyebrows with a smirk. “I’m bi.”

“Why didn’t you tell me!” she whined, finally taking a crisp, her hands only shaking slightly now, Stevie noticed with another surge of pride.

Shrugging, she continued grinning. “It didn’t seem important.” 

“What!”

“Well you know… I didn’t exactly know how to… how to fit it into a conversation. It just felt so unnecessary, it’s not like you ever explicitly asked.” 

Charlie’s eyes widened. “We’ve known each other for… loads of years! How long have you known!”

“You don’t remember now many years we’ve been friends do you?”

“Shh, it doesn’t matter.” (Stevie snorted, smirking at Charlie, shaking her head and trying not to laugh even more.) “Shhh, anyway, it really doesn’t matter.” She grinned at Stevie, stuffing her mouth with doritos. “What matters is,” she said around the crisps, “that our gaydars were so elite back in high school that we managed to pull this off.”

Stevie burst out laughing, spilling the doritos everywhere.

-*-*-*-

Getting into Welton University had been no bother (for Stevie at least), staying in it, however, was proving trying. Hellton’s only redeemable aspect was her shared living space with Charlie. If it was possible they were closer than ever, united in a hatred of lectures and a love of not turning up for them. 

The most annoying part of living with Charlie (other than the mess, the lack of sleep, and the mild domestic arguments) was the constant contact with the Dalton family. Charlie didn’t have to tell Stevie that the repetitive conversations over the phone with her parents were annoying her (although she often did tell her, at great length), it was clear on her face. Almost every evening while Charlie and Stevie would try and enjoy their dinners, there would be a phone call from the Dalton household, high pitched talking over tinny microphones which made Stevie feel like sinking into the sofa and never returning, she didn’t know how Charlie stayed focussed enough on what they were saying to answer.

As she forced another slice of pizza into her mouth to avoid the piercing questions of Mrs Dalton, trying to drown out all the noise by discreetly pressing one ear into a pillow, Stevie found herself half drifting off.

“For the last time mum, and please listen to me right now, the laundrette is closed until Friday, they’re getting it fixed on Thursday, and no it’s not bothering me, and yes it’s fine, and no you don’t need to write a letter of complaint.”

“Charlotte, there is really no need to take that tone.” The whistling sound of the fan suddenly filled the dorm room through the phone speakers and Mrs Dalton’s hair ruffled dramatically on the grainy image pixelating before them. “Have you got any new friends? A boyfriend?”

“No mum I don’t.” It was breathed out between clenched teeth, Stevie smirked, that was one of Mrs Dalton’s favourite questions to ask.

It was hard to tell, but Stevie thought Mrs Dalton might have shot her a look. “Are you sure you don’t have a boyfriend Charlie?”

“Quite sure.”

“You should get a boyfriend, that’s what uni is all about.”

Stevie disguised her snort of laughter as another bite of pizza.

“I have a girlfriend instead,” Charlie snapped.

There was a beat of silence, Stevie looked at her nervously out of the corner of her eye. Charlie did not have a girlfriend either, it seemed a big risk to take for an imaginary woman. Stevie was suddenly very glad that she was mostly off camera.

“Well…” said Mrs Dalton, “maybe we should -”

Charlie hit end call. “Don’t say a word,” she growled, stalking to the sink to get a glass of water, “not a word.”

The phone buzzed on the table. Stevie read aloud from the illuminated notification screen. “I would like to meet this girlfriend of yours, maybe for Christmas? - Mum. PS, I won’t be able to call at all for the next month, I forgot to tell you me and your dad are going on a cruise.” She ended on an incredulous note, shooting a look at Charlie. “Who forgets to tell you about a cruise?”

“Forget that,” said Charlie in a strained voice, swigging a desperate gulp of water as if that would erase what Stevie just said, “now I’ve either got to get a girlfriend, pretend to have a girlfriend, or pretend to be going through a breakup. At Christmas. Stevie what the hell am I going to do.”

Stevie shrugged, trying not to laugh at her friends predicament. “At least she hasn’t like… disowned you or anything. You’ve got a month to find a girl willing to go back home for Christmas with you, it’s going to be fine Char.”

-*-*-*-

“What?”

“You’re going to have to come home with me and be my girlfriend.”

Stevie folded her arms. “Char, your mum is not going to believe that I’m your girlfriend, I’m pretty sure she knows who I am, you know, seeing as we’ve been friends for years and I’ve been to your house like a thousand times.”

“But Stevie! It will all work out! You came out to your parents last month, they’re going away on holiday for Christmas, it’s perfect.” Charlie’s eyes were wide and begging. She was still clutching her phone, her fingers hovering over the keyboard. “Please just say yes, I don’t want to pretend I’ve just gone through a difficult breakup.”

She sighed, the cold metal of the bench cutting through her jeans as she swung her legs, the clunky doc martens she’d stolen from Charlie scuffing on the rough grass. She glanced at Charlie, feeling the goosebumps spreading up her bare arms, Charlie’s wide brown eyes peering from the warmth of Stevie’s hoodie. “Alright. Alright you can say you’re bringing your girlfriend. I’ll pretend to be your girlfriend.”

“Yes!” Her pale cold fingers started to tap on the keyboard swiftly, as if afraid Stevie would change her mind. “Wait, I’m not going to tell them it’s you, just to surprise them.”

“And if there’s a better candidate you don’t have to take me.”

Charlie rolled her eyes. “There’s no better candidate.”

As they walked back to their dorm over the grounds, Charlie linked arms with her, smiling brightly. “I’ve always wanted to spend Christmas with you, normally mum and dad want ‘family only’. This is going to be so fun.”

“We’re going to have to set some ground rules Char, so this doesn’t get weird or whatever.” She cast a doubtful look at Charlie, who didn’t seem like she was really listening.

“This is going to be great. My cousins have always been getting at me for not having a boyfriend, this is going to be so fun.” She let go of Stevie’s arm, jumping in front to walk backwards, grinning at her. “They’re all going to be so shocked to see you, oh my god, this is going to be so much fun.”

“Ground rules. Char. Listen to me.” She clicked her fingers. “I don’t want this to go wrong if we’re spending like two weeks at your parents.”

Charlie sighed. “You’re ruining my honeymoon period.”

She snorted, jogging forwards slightly to catch Charlie’s arm in hers once again. “Shut up. Let’s just say hand holding is ok, we do that a lot anyway, hugging is fine…”

“But if we do it a lot anyway they won’t be convinced.” Charlie paused, an idea lighting up her face. “What if I can just kiss you on the cheek sometimes? Just to make it believable.”

Smirking, Stevie looked down at her. “Sure, just to make it believable.”

“Shut up!”

-*-*-*-

Stevie glanced over at Charlie, who was drumming on the steering wheel, looking up at the house. “There’s no need to be nervous Charlie, if you want we can pretend you and your imaginary girlfriend broke up and I came with you instead.”

“No. No it’s fine. It’s just… this is the first time I’m going to see them properly since I came out I guess.”

“They seem fine with it Char, seriously we’re going to be alright. Two weeks and then we get t go back to normal, you can stage a mutual breakup where we’re still friends and that’s that.” She patted her on the arm. “Come on.”

The look on Mrs Dalton’s face was what Stevie would have described as ‘priceless’ had she had any words in her nervous state. “Stevie?”

“Hi mum, this is my girlfriend… Stevie… you already know Stevie… uhm…”

She blinked. “Come in girls.” She ushered them passed, her shocked expression giving way to a pleasant smile. “Well I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised. You girls were always so close, and after you told me Char-Char, I thought it must have been Stephanie who was your first crush, didn’t I say so Robert?” Charlie grimaced, whether at the nickname or what Louise Dalton had said, Stevie couldn’t tell.

“You did say so my darling,” said Mr Dalton, taking an amused sip from his tea, “lovely to see you again Stevie.”

“And of course when Anna and William came over and told us about you Stephanie, well… we should have seen it coming.” Louise had an annoying habit of flitting between calling her Stevie and Stephanie which had got on Stevie’s nerves ever since she had been allowed through the Dalton front door.

“I… I haven’t really told them about me and Charlie yet, I would be really grateful if you could keep that as quiet as possible for the time being,” she said anxiously, damn, she had forgotten about her own parents in this Charlie-made fiasco.

Louise shot her a sickeningly sweet smile. “Of course dear, and you can call me Louise, you’re part of the family now.”

She felt a casual blush glow up her cheek and she tore her eyes away, fiddling with the strap on her bag.

“Mum, Jesus, you don’t need to come on so strong. Are we sleeping in my room?”

As the day wore on, the Dalton house filled with more and more guests. Carl and Samira, Charlie’s aunt and uncle, with their kids Jonathon and Tabitha; Grandma Jolene, Louise’s mum; Grandpa Liam, Robert’s dad; Evan (another uncle) and his kids Mamie and Lora. Stevie had to greet every one of them nervously, brought into the living room every time someone arrived, the new member of the family, drawn out like a trophy. Charlie just clasped her hand, their thumbs crossed, four fingers wrapped softly over the back of each other’s hands.

Dinner was not as awkward as she expected, but the intense curiosity of some of the stares she was getting made the faint blush hard to get rid of. She was sat beside Charlie but they were surrounded on all sides by the four cousins, the youngest (Lora, eleven) kept on staring at Stevie, her eyes shifting between the two of them and the only one Stevie had met previous to this event, also the eldest (other than Charlie), Mamie, kept frowning down at her plate as if confused. 

The worst part was yet to come. As the dessert, a steaming hot apple crumble, was served, Auntie Samira looked between them both. “So girls, how did you two get together.”

They had only vaguely spoken about their fake stories of how they got together, and Stevie decided to let Charlie take this one, it was her plan after all.

“Well, you know… me and Stevie have been friends for years. It happened after I came out to her,” said Charlie vaguely, taking Stevie’s hand under the table. “It’s almost been two months now.”

“You do make the most beautiful couple,” said Grandma Jolene, her weathered face cracking in a smile, “I notice you’re wearing the jumper I knitted for Charlotte last Christmas dear, wonderful couple, wonderful.”

Stevie blinked down, feeling Charlie’s grin fixed on her. “I didn’t even notice,” she said genuinely, raising her eyebrows with a smirk at Charlie, trying to ignore the blush on her cheeks.

After dinner, the whole family filed into the living room. The TV started blaring, the whole Dalton family leaning forwards to listen intently, but all Stevie could pay attention to were Charlie’s fingers wound in the fabric of the jumper which they apparently co-owned, grabbing at it just below Stevie’s breast which made her breath jump uncomfortably, her other cold hand slipping behind her, under the jumper, and laying coolly against her skin. Consciously, Stevie slipped her own arm over Charlie’s shoulders, tracing circles on her gently.

When people finally started to drift off to sleep in the cavernous halls of the Dalton household, Mamie smirked at them. “Enjoy the bed,” she said with a cackle, running off with her little sister before they could say a word.

She had slept in the same bed as Charlie many times, this very bed in fact, but now she was incredibly aware of what other people in the house thought they were doing. She tried not to blush as she slipped under the sheets, turning away from Charlie firmly and keeping to her own side without a word. 

The silence seemed to drag on for hours before Charlie said anything. “Are you alright with this Stevie?”

Her jaw clenched. “I… I don’t know.”

“If… if you’re not we can just tell them the truth.”

Stevie thought about it for a moment. “No. No that would be so awkward, we’re not doing that.”

She could hear the grin in Charlie’s voice. “I can’t believe we didn’t notice you were literally wearing my clothes. It paid off though, they definitely believe it’s real.”

“I know,” she mumbled tiredly, “we literally share everything it’s no wonder.”

There was a shuffling noise behind her and then Charlie’s nose nuzzled into her hair. She shivered as she was pulled back against Charlie into a tight hug, the palm of Charlie’s hand lying flat across her stomach. “I’m glad you’re ok with all this.”

She nodded tiredly, trying to ignore the burning sensation at the bottom of her insides.

-*-*-*-

Two days had passed since they arrived at the Dalton house and they were already trusted with babysitting duty. The adults (even the grandparents) had gone out pub crawling, as was apparently family tradition. Normally the kids were dragged along according to Charlie, but she had taken pity on them, having first hand experience of the boredom, and offered to stay behind with Stevie and the kids.

They were now sat with some kids movie with animated animals in it, Stevie thought it might be called Pets At Home, and the four children curled about on the floor or the sofa, half paying attention, half clocked out on their phones.

Stevie was sat in an armchair, not really paying attention, reading through a chapter of the text book that she had been asked to study with itching eyes. She glanced up as Charlie re-entered, carrying two cups of tea. “Thanks babe,” she mumbled, leaning forwards to grab one of the mugs.

“Oh… no problem.” Charlie stood staring at her for a moment, then dropped to the floor by Stevie’s feet, head dropping onto her knee.

Absent-mindedly, she ran a hand through Charlie’s hair as she placed her tea on the table by the armchair. “Did you see that email I forwarded from Keating? I asked him about the coursework last week and he finally got back to me.”

Charlie hummed, taking her phone out of her pocket. “Oh yeah, I just got it. Thanks Ste.” She started reading the email, Stevie opened her book again, hand still caught in Charlie’s hair, pensively stationary, palm resting on the dome of her skull. “What?” Stevie’s eyes jumped up from what she was reading at the sudden noise.

“I didn’t say anything!” whined Jonathon, collapsing back further into the couch, pretending to watch the TV over the top of his phone.

“We didn’t do nothin’,” confirmed Lora, her childish expression stern.

“All staring at us.” Charlie twisted her head to look up at Stevie. “All of them staring!”

She smiled quizzically. “And?”

“It’s rude!”

Tabitha widened her eyes. “We weren’t being rude! Mamie told us the other day about how you two were friends when you were little -” (“- we weren’t that little,” mumbled Charlie) “- and she was telling us about how you acted like a cute couple then too!”

“Are you talking about us on a group chat while we’re sat right here?” said Charlie, in mock anguish.

While Charlie jokingly berated them, Stevie looked across the room at Mamie who was fixing her with a hard stare. Her phone buzzed on the arm of the chair. ‘I know you two aren’t really going out, even if you are very good at pretending.’ Stevie swallowed. The phone buzzed again. ‘Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone’, another buzz, ‘it’s just neither of you have so much as kissed or told relationship stories, even if you are handsy, just saying, if you want the others to believe you, you better get better at that :)’.

She showed Charlie the messages later that day, she scowled at the screen darkly. “Do you know how embarrassing this is going to be if anyone else realises?”

Sighing, Stevie chucked the phone on their bed. “Yes, I do know… we did mention kissing on the cheek, which you haven’t really done yet… maybe that will make it more believable… because they’re going to start noticing if Mamie has… well kissing anywhere but the lips really, just to make it believable.”

“And ‘relationship stories’, whatever that means, we need to formulate some of those.”

“We could just change some stories we already have,” said Stevie, following the phone and collapsing backwards on the bed, splayed out like a starfish.

Charlie sat down beside her slowly, thoughtfully. “A first kiss story, we can bring that up next time my parents start talking about their first kiss, which they inevitably bring up every conversation with Carl and Samira. Like… who’s got the best first kiss story, every year I swear to god.”

She grinned. “What about our first kiss story being that day you forced me to leave the house at like… 3 am. We could change it so it took place at uni rather than here, it wasn’t like we went anywhere specific to town, added bonus being you don’t get in the shit for sneaking out of the house back before you were an independent woman.”

Laughing, Charlie relaxed, flopping down beside her. “Yeah, sounds about right. We could have our first date being that day we went for a picnic and climbed a tree? Like… just change it to that park near Hellton.”

“We actually need to do that.”

“What? Have a first date?” Charlie was looking at her with a smirk.

She twisted her head so their eyes could meet and she could frown. “No dumbass, have a picnic in that park, in spring, I bet it would be beautiful. I could take so many pictures of you, even hotter than the ones I took of you by that graffiti wall.”

Charlie’s warm brown eyes drew her in, her heart pounding in her ribcage. “Yeah,” she breathed, tantalising, “yeah, it’s a date.” 

She had to tear her eyes away and find the ceiling light fascinating as light fingers brushed her arm, memories tainted, plagued, blessed with romantic lies.

-*-*-*-

Charlie pressed another kiss to her wrist. It was the night after their discussion of believability, and Charlie appeared to be taking the whole thing very seriously. She disappeared into the kitchen with the empty bowls, going to refill them with more popcorn, crisps, and nuts, followed by the eyes of Mamie and Stevie. Mamie shot her a questioning look and Stevie sent her a brief text. ‘We took your advice.’ Mamie smirked.

They were all playing boardgames, most of which Stevie didn’t understand or had never heard of, which made cheating for all the other players extremely easy, not that Stevie really minded. Being out meant she got to enjoy sitting beside Charlie, watching her hand of cards, watching the gears turn in her head, occasionally, when she thought she might understand, reaching out to tap a card. She even got to the point of telling their newly crafted first date story, as she and Grandma Jolene sat out, her talking fondly of her dead husband and asking Stevie plenty of questions about herself and about them. Stevie realised she must be a bit of an enigma to the Dalton family, the childhood friend who comes back a lover. She tried not to overthink every comment Jolene made about their apparent ‘relationship behaviour’, she guessed she couldn’t really blame the woman, she had been a marriage counsellor before retirement (as she had found out speaking to her that evening), but that just made everything she said have even more weight than before.

She found herself very conscious of her arm wound around Charlie’s waist, or how much she stared (like Charlie was the centre of the universe according to Grandma Jolene), and how often she blushed. It was Uncle Evan who saved her, he suddenly became very bad at a game he had been winning easily and joined their conversation. “I was going to do some of the washing up for by brother, fancy helping me out Stevie? We haven’t had much chance to chat.”

Murmuring her goodbyes to Jolene and Charlie, she followed Evan into the kitchen, taking up the job of drying the plates that he washed. “Sorry my mother-in-law has so many questions,” he said in his quiet voice, “I know it’s overwhelming, I had the same thing when me and my wife got divorced, question after question.” He laughed softly.

She smiled back. “It’s fine, I’m just glad she’s welcoming me into the family.”

“Of course you’re part of the family,” he said, handing her another bowl, “the way Charlotte looks at you… I think it would be impossible not to have you in the family, she loves you too much.”

She couldn’t prevent the blush that rose up her neck.

Later as they were getting ready for bed, elbows jostling by the sink as they brushed their teeth, Stevie caught Charlie’s eyes in the mirror, surprised to feel their intense gaze. She wondered if Charlie had always done that, or if she was just hypersensitive now Evan and Jolene had pointed it out so much. She broke the gaze to wash out her mouth in the sink, trying to hide her blush in the cool wash of water.

When Charlie grabbed her arm Stevie jolted like someone had electrocuted her. “Stevie… are you… you know if we ever step over a line with this pretending stuff you can just tell me… right?”

“Yeah. Yeah I know, it’s fine, you’re not… I’m not like… yeah… it’s fine.”

That night it was Stevie who pulled Charlie’s back flush against her chest, her hand nestled in the warmth of her stomach, feeling the unsteady rush of Charlie’s heart when she breathed against her neck, felt the rough shiver run through Charlie’s body as she whispered a soft goodnight in her ear. She grinned, nuzzling against the crown of her head, breathing in her soft scent.

-*-*-*-

It was bound to happen at some point, Stevie supposed, as she regarded the mistle toe hanging above them. It was Christmas morning and the rest of the family was already seated at the kitchen table eating breakfast.

“Come on girls, we’ve all done it,” said Samira, gesturing between herself and Carl, Robert and Louise.

Stevie leant down swiftly and pressed a chaste kiss to Charlie’s cheek, trying to smile with as much loving energy as she could for Jolene’s benefit.

“Oh come on,” said Mamie, “that was hardly a kiss.”

“It’s Christmas girls.” Louise was watching them from the kitchen counter where she was waiting for toast to pop.

“If they’re uncomfortable…” Uncle Carl’s voice drifted off mid sentence as it often did.

Grandpa Liam cut off his son-in-law with a wave of the hand. “Christmas is a time for love and good cheer, come on girls, time to show your love for each other.”

Trying to see beyond the flawed logic of this statement, Stevie looked down at Charlie who was eyeing her nervously. She nodded imperceptibly. Time seemed frozen for an instant, as Stevie cursed the tradition of mistletoe. Then she placed a palm on Charlie’s cheek. Then she leant down and kissed her.

No fireworks exploded.

No. Things imploded.

When she sat down at the table, she tried not to make any contact with Charlie. Instead fixing Mamie with her hardest stare. Trying to communicate to her that she had just ruined everything.

The memories of the picnic in the park and sneaking out of the house at three in the morning were no longer dripping with honey, not even tinged pink through a fake story of romance. No. They were obliterated in a dark sea of warm lips and eyes full of confusion, fear, worry, as they pulled apart.

When Charlie gave her her present, the necklace she’d been wanting for months, she tried not to make her voice sound hollow. Fearing this might be the last Christmas gift she ever received from Charlie. And Charlie feigned excitement that only Stevie could see through at her gift of the hoodie she knew she’d been eyeing for months.

All day she felt empty, like something had been surgically removed from her heart. She sat in a dark well of lonely silence beside Charlie in the Christmas noise. Even when her parents called and she tried to sound upbeat her happy voice strained her throat, echoing through the cavern of her empty insides.

Finally, after a torturous dinner of failed conversations and nervous apprehension of the girl sitting beside her and after a long time sat listening to stories of past Christmases and pretending to care, they were allowed to escape to the dangerous territory of their shared bedroom. As soon as they entered and Stevie closed the door gently behind them, they stood staring brokenly at each other in the centre of the room.

“Has this gone too far?” Stevie hated how much her voice didn’t sound like her own, all fragile and splintered.

Charlie was watching her with shadowy brown eyes. “Maybe we talk about this tomorrow. Go on a walk without all these people and just… talk.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?”

“I should never have come here. Or we should have pretended you’d just had a breakup like I suggested in the car, god why didn’t I listen to my own gut? Now we’ve ruined everything.”

“Ste… please. Let’s just…” Her hand hovered over Stevie’s but then she thought better of it, letting it drop to her side. “Let’s just talk about this tomorrow. With clear minds.”

-*-*-*-

She woke up cold that morning, bereft of soft arms and hands that roamed, and legs that entwined. Just cold now. 

The others were all still asleep except Uncle Carl who nodded to them as they left, crossing the childhood paths of their memories as they unconsciously cut in the direction of the park. They had passed Stevie’s house by the time either of them said a word.

“I’m really sorry Stevie, for putting you in this mess. I should’ve just said I was joking or something… not pretend to have a girlfriend and… and screw everything up between us.”

“It’s alright Charlie, I’m not blaming you for this alright? I agreed to play along with it.”

“Yes but…”

“Yesterday went a bit over that line huh.”

“Yeah.”

She sighed, glancing at Charlie. She had had a lot of time to think. A lot of time to think about Charlie, she hadn’t slept much. The realisation, helped along by the Dalton family members who loved to talk about their couple behaviour, was final. It was like a nail in a coffin lid. Nothing that happened from that onwards would ever be the same, because she was in love with Charlotte Dalton. She steered them slightly in the direction of the car park from that night time teenage adventure.

“I don’t want to lose you Ste.”

Her stomach was in tumult. Her mind was running itself in circles, thinking about every interaction they’d ever had. ‘What’s your name?’ Three words and she was hooked on Charlie, three words and maybe she could hook Charlie.

“I don’t want to lose you either. We aren’t going to lose each other.” She walked into the car park. It was early in the morning, people would usually be rushing about but in a small town like this, Boxing Day was another day of shut doors and closed tight windows.

“Stevie what are we doing here?”

“I thought you were ethereal that night you know? The most beautiful thing I’d ever seen, which I guess isn’t the kind of thing that I’m meant to think about my best friend. That you’re beautiful… sure, but not that you’re the most wonderful, heavenly thing I’d ever seen.” She couldn’t bear to look at Charlie, not when she was so dead silent. “You were all illuminated in that golden glow, your wild smile and wilder eyes. I couldn’t believe you were real that night.” She paused again, pacing slowly a little way from Charlie, staring out over the wasteland of tarmac. “Do you remember what happens in our lie? I lean out over the handle bar of the shopping trolley and you lean forwards in the metal basket and you kiss me. I’m starting to realise I didn’t come up with that on the spot. It was a fantasy, a daydream of mine that I never let surface.” Finally she urged the courage up to turn and look at Charlie. She looked on the verge of tears, a wobbly smile shivering on her pink lips that Stevie knew tasted like strawberry chapstick. “I love you.” Three words. Hooked. Eyes widening. “I’m in love with you Charlie.”

Charlie stood blinking at her. “Stevie I… how am I supposed to… you’ve stolen all the good words… I don’t know what to…”

“Good thing I only need to hear four words.”

She paused on the brink for a moment, drinking her in, sapping her very being in a way that left her begging for more. “I love you too. Stevie I’m in love with you.” Hesitantly she moved forwards. “Can… can I kiss you?”

“Yeah. Go for it.”

The world stopped imploding. The world was normal. No fireworks only birds singing in the trees. Because it was meant to be, the world had been ready for it, and now the world was whole.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading :)


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